Every once in a while I get such good emails from students, there's nothing better I can do than to simply let THEM do the talking. What you are about to read comes from the special "Speed Seduction®" customer forum; a list of nearly 2,000 people world wide who have purchased a Speed Seduction® Home Study Course and daily discuss their challenges, breakthroughs, questions and experiments. I’m very proud of this resource I provide, because it lets students not only talk with me, but with each other, and having that community supporting your learning can be a big boost of confidence.
With that in mind, here’s a student’s progress report he posted on his plans to approached 100 women. Pay special attention to his brilliant advice on overcoming the fear of “failure”.
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Dear Ross and seduction brothers,
From talking with the awesome brothers in the Boston area it became obvious from their comments that the only way to get better at walk-ups is to do a lot of them. So Eric suggested this approach, which worked very well:
choose a number of walk-ups to do, and go with the EXPECTATION of getting shot down.
That's somewhat paradoxical but that's what makes it work. So I set my goal at a 100. I've already done 50, and this is the half-time report.
It's been FANTASTIC (aside from getting enthusiastic phone numbers from women who even have boyfriends and very positive responses). Going with the expectation of let me get another one on my list makes things a WHOLE LOT easier. There's no hurt, no rejection, it's just another notch. "Here goes number 33."
INSTEAD of going with the goal of I am going to get this many phone numbers, and feeling good/bad depending on the outcome, go with the goal I'm just going to have fun getting shot down this many times and learning. Then, it's piece of cake to learn.
SET a concrete number of approaches you want, and do it. You WILL be successful at doing that.
Basically, now, I feel comfortable approaching almost any woman under any condition (the train, a coffee shop, etc.). It really is a LEAP from where I was before.
My state is infinitely more solid... and while I can get better with very attractive women, I lead with much greater ease, I deal with most objections right away, and I'm able to instill comfort/ease/trust almost instantaneously.
I can only imagine what will happen when I get to 100. But I'm not worried about that... I just need to get 50 more under my belt.
(Techniques That Helped Him Do It!)
Now here're a few techniques you may want to use: Talking with other SSers: I cannot say enough about this. The Boston team is great, and posting/reading up people's SS postings while doing the above is both encouraging as well as enlightening. I just want to thank the thoughtful people who post quality emails ... some of us really appreciate it.
Self-reward and -analysis: Always pat yourself in the back after making an approach or every few approaches. It works. It sounds funny but you feel better when you tell yourself 'good job' and give yourself a pat in the back.
Every say 5 approaches analyze what you did... think how you could have done it concretely better... and replay in your mind how you'd have done it. DON'T analyze every time, do it every say 5 times.
Women are random and if you analyze it each time you'll NOT see the real pattern. No pun intended. :) But the exercise (AGAIN) is not to get better, although you naturally will, but just to get across the X number of getting shot-down.
Fear of failure and safety: Early on I sat down and asked myself what in the world was holding me back from approaching beautiful (physically, intellectually, spiritually) women and making their lives sheer beauty, wonder, delight... and I realized... it was just a simple fear of failing.
What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I fall on my face? What if I just annoy her? Being someone who's successful at a lot of things he's tried in life this was a BIG one.
But then after some thought I realized it was a paradox. THE BIGGEST FAILURE IS TO FEAR FAILURE. If you fear failure, then you're GUARANTEED to fail every time.
Think about it. Think about this for long enough and it'll BLOW your mind AND any fear of failure you have out of the water. DRILL on any such feelings with this paradox.
If you fear failure, YOU WILL FAIL EACH AND EVERY TIME. It's a complete guarantee. So THAT FEAR IS ITSELF the BIGGEST FAILURE.
Secondly, often we want to be 'safe.' But usually, safe from what?? Safe from success, safe from learning how to move women in ways that may astonish us. Do you want to be safe from success? Really? Think about your whole life ... do you want to be safe repeating that SAME pattern?
If these are issues for you, I'd try meditate on these two ideas, after some breathing exercises, and you may find, like I did, that meditation affecting your whole life timeline, going to the deepest crevices of your being, and you will be decontaminated from those thoughts in a couple hours or days.
Don't be surprised to see your whole physiology changing. This is not just pattern language... my whole body felt it. Use the titanium drill of the paradoxes to destroy those filthy mental microbes.
Best regards, Stephen/Angelo
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Ok. Ross here again. This student really got it when he talked about the paradox of fearing failure actually being the biggest guarantee of failure.
You see, as I have said before, it is the meaning you assign to things that determines how you will feel about them. If you assign the meaning that you MUST “succeed” with every beautiful girl you see, you are going to drive yourself nuts with all sorts of unneeded fear and stress.
When you assign the right meaning to things; that you are just practicing and you are intending to fall on your face, just to practice, suddenly it loses its importance and paradoxically, you do a lot better with a lot less effort.
My own personal beliefs about meeting and seducing women are, “Let’s go have some fun with her and find out what she’s like” and “I will either get what I want or learn what I need to in order to get what I want or even better next time”.
Try THOSE on for size, and see what happens to any fear of approaching women.
‘Til next time.
Peace and piece,
Ross
P.S. Hey...you can jump start YOUR success with women and join our Speed Seduction® online community as well. Membership is free when you purchase your Speed Seduction® Home Study Course! Just go to
http://www.seduction.com/products/RJ87.asp
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How my student planns. Ross Jeffries, the controversial creator of Speed Seduction®, reveals these secrets in his article. For even more information like this,subscribe to our free newsletter at http://beta.blogger.com/
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